Autobiographies & Self-Esteem
“Beauty magazines promote low self-esteem”
- Lyrics from Savage Garden song Affirmation
So do many* autobiographies.
Recently a friend told me that she stopped reading autobiographies because she felt worse off while reading them.
She felt as if they constantly reminded her that she was an underachiever.
Made me think — Is this genuine, or is this an overreaction?
If ads and TV soaps can make you feel inferior, why can’t autobiographies?
Autobiographies are written by ‘successful’ people. But being successful alone doesn’t make one a leader or a teacher. You can get inspired and applaud their achievements, and yet learn nothing from them. This is one of the reasons that often in sports, superstars don’t turn out to be great captains, coaches or managers of teams. There are 2 reasons to this:
1. Some successful people are geniuses. Geniuses are gifted in certain areas, and can perform wonders. But they can’t break it down into behaviors that can be emulated and repeated by ordinary people. Often, they don’t even try — they take their gifts for granted.
2. Today’s society strengthens self-centricity. For many people, the world revolves around them. Even if they mention others, it’s only in complicity to self-promotion. Most of the time, they never ‘have time’ for others.
So how does this reflect in these autobiographies? They reek of how great they are, what they did, what worked for them etc. But what worked for them doesn’t necessarily work for others, because circumstances and opportunities are different. Furthermore, there is no empathy for the reader. Why should my reader read this? What can my reader learn from this? One can also find this narcissistic pattern in the social media posts of such people.
Some of the best books I have read are not autobiographies, but rather books by researchers who have spent decades in studying multiple options and making them actionable and repeatable. I love books have a tone of humility and teach timeless principles by telling both sides of the story: Not just what worked and why, but also, what didn’t work and why, and what we can learn from failures, and not just from success stories.
*Many autobiographies, not all.